Using Thoughtfulness to Make a Struggling Marriage Feel Good Again

Thoughtfulness isn’t difficult or expensive, but it can make all the difference.

Most marriages hit rough patches from time to time. Sometimes those rough patches become long, difficult stretches where the disconnection between the couple grows wider and they begin to feel like there are more bad experiences than good to recall in the relationship. That is the time to begin to pay attention and mend some of the patches before they grow into gaping open wounds.

Now is the time to simplify and get back to the basics of what works — and thoughtfulness is an incredibly effective tool to bring greater connection to relationships.

Thoughtfulness shows your partner that you’re thinking of them, paying attention to them and making them feel special. Plus, as you demonstrate more thoughtfulness in your relationship, your spouse is likely to begin to do the same for you.

You can do this by:

My husband is a firefighter/paramedic, and when he goes to work, he is gone for 48 hours. There is always a simple love note or card in his cooler from me. The other day, I was at the grocery store, and I saw organic pears that I knew he would like, so I picked up a few of them for him. These are not enormous gestures, but they are the small gentle winks he receives from me that let him know he’s on my mind.

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