The Miracle of Life

As I have witnessed myself through the childbearing process, each conception and birth is a miracle

Conceiving children is not easy and I feel fortunate to have two beautiful children of my own. Unfortunately, I went through two terribly upsetting miscarriages which taught me a lot of respect for life. Before having my miscarriages, I had no idea how difficult childbearing or conceiving could be. I was naive to the fact that my own sister was adopted because my mom was told she could not have any more children after my older brother, but then fourteen years later I was her miracle baby, or…her “oops”, as my sister refers to me. We “joke” about it now, but in all honesty, I think I have some attachment issues because of the jokes associated with those comments.

I miscarried for the first time early in my marriage. My husband (we’ve since divorced, which I just say now for clarity later) and I had been married a year and we wanted children. I miscarried at 10 weeks. I was almost in what is considered the safe zone for pregnancy. The miscarriage traumatized me. I felt like a complete failure. I felt like I let my husband down. He is Irish Catholic so you can only imagine the guilt and the grief. I too was incredibly heartbroken. I felt empty and worthless.

He took me to Washington D.C. and we enjoyed a romantic loving weekend away which was exactly what I needed, but it did not replace the loss I felt. I was so grateful that he at least understood the pain that I was feeling. He reassured me we would try again when the time was right. A year later we did. We had a beautiful baby girl named Morgan. The pregnancy was not easy, but it was certainly successful. Up until last year, she was thriving, but now that she is in her early twenties, she is experiencing some serious health concerns. She is on disability at the University of Kentucky which has been extremely humbling to her as she has a dedicated spirit and is committed to succeeding in life. The disability office has been instrumentally helpful in helping her facilitate communication with professors regarding much-needed time off when she is unable to attend classes due to surgical procedures, tests, travel to the Cleveland Clinic, or particularly bad sick leave.

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