I planned to become totally ripped coming out of lockdown

And thanks to my government’s support I am happy to report…

That didn’t work out so well, despite months of confinement, although I did manage to avoid the COVID-19 “COVID 19 pounds".

Hence, here’s my heartfelt thanks to Boris and his “government of all the talentless”.

For so completely screwing up their pandemic response that I get indefinite extensions to lockdown. Note the adjective I used is “indefinite”, not “infinite”, but give it time…

At this rate coming out looking like 1980s Arnold Schwarzenegger should be a breeze.

1975 Arnie though? Not a chance…

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